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[-20-]
MADMEN.
A visit to a County Asylum - The new Bedlam and the old - 'Far from the madding crowd' - The advantages of insanity - Queer delusions of patients - The man who was troubled with beetles on the brain - How he proposed to "settle the varmint" - The old original meteorologist - He reveals to me the secret of his life - A mystery of Downing Street - "If I revealed all I could, Europe would be in a blaze in six hours" - Sham madmen: how one was cured.
IT seems like the perfection of paradox to say that an
excellent way of escaping for a spell of rest from the turmoil and the
hurly-burly
of the "madding crowd" is to seek the tranquil companionship of the inmates
of some great lunatic asylum; but, having tried it, I can safely say that there
is much more practical sense in the proposition than an inexperienced person
would suppose.
I have thought so many times since, and it certainly was my
impression when, sometimes accompanied by the doctor, but more often alone, I
sauntered about in the midst of that happy family of madmen - numbering a couple
of hundred or more - who were enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, and the
various healthful amusements provided for them in the extensive pleasure grounds
attached to one of our national asylums for the insane. It is a vast
establishment, and its boundary walls shut in from the outer world more than two
thousand men and women; every one of whom, were he or she to commit the gravest
crime, would be held irresponsible for it. The male inmates were not all of them
disporting in the garden: some were at work there and in the vegetable-growing
department, digging, weeding, planting, manfully hard at it in their
shirtsleeves; some lightening their labour with a pipe of tobacco, some
whistling as they worked or humming the tune of a popular ditty, and one and all
seemingly as free from care as though in the ordinary pursuits of life they had
amassed something of a competency and had retired hither, their present
employment being their pleasurable pastime.
It was the same to a certain extent in the workshops
attached to the establishments - the tailor's shop, the shoemaker's, and the
carpenter's. Except as regards scrupulous cleanliness and [-21-]
tidiness and the best of sanitary arrangements possible, the
spectacle of the men, busy at the board and bench, was exactly similar to any
other workshop of the sort - with this difference, that the elements of driving
and drudgery were altogether excluded. Take the tailors. I have seen in a
Whitechapel garret a dozen poor sweaters squatted on the floor, and with scarce
elbow room to do justice to a stitch with a still-threaded needle; and to watch
how the honest poor fellows bent over their work, it almost seemed from their
anxious and haggard faces that their very lives depended on their completing the
job in hand at a certain tick of the clock, and that if there remained but an
inch of seaming undone come the stipulated time, some terrible punishment
awaited them. But the tailors of the asylum took matters more easily. Exempt
from care and worry, not driven by hard necessity, they stitched away in placid
content, cheerfully busy, and fully satisfied with themselves and the work they
were engaged on.
Madmen every one of them, however, and had they lived in the
days when old "Bedlam" was a national institution, every man would have been
liable to be caged pretty much as the hyena is caged at the Zoological Gardens,
with a shaven head, and naked except for an old pair of canvas pantaloons and
a blanket to cover his shoulders; and with a chain for his waist if he showed
himself restless under such treatment, and a dash of cold water and a whipping
as a sedative should he display any extraordinary excitement. If any
humanitarian of the period had proposed that, by way of experiment, half a dozen
madmen who knew something of tailoring should be placed in a room together, and
freely supplied with appliances for their craft - including a pair of shears,
and needles, and bodkins, and with a goose for ironing of ten pounds weight or
so for the general use - the probabilities are that the individual who seriously
made the suggestion would have been regarded by all who knew him as being
himself a fit subject for a strait waistcoat. It would have been regarded as
next to certain, had such a preposterous idea been entertained, that, arming
himself with the goose, one tailor would straightway set about braining the
others, who, made furious by the assault, would attack each other
indiscriminately with their shears and bodkins until all were slain, or at least
so horribly mutilated as to be past hope of cure. I inquired of [-22-]
the asylum foreman tailor - who, as need not be stated, was a
person in possession of his senses - whether at any time he had much trouble with
the patients entrusted to his care, and he replied that, as a rule, they were a
harmless and peaceable lot of fellows enough; and that, though many of them had
"bad spells," when they could not be trusted, these were nearly always
preceded by premonitory symptoms easily distinguishable, so that precautions
could be taken. It will not unfrequently happen, I was informed, that a man
will himself make known that he feels his fit coming on, and ask to be withdrawn
from the workshop for a few days.
But what perplexed me more than anything else, in the
workshops as well as in the vegetable garden and recreation ground, was,
generally speaking, the absence of anything in the demeanour or movements of the
inmates to denote that they were insane. There certainly was one peculiarity
in their conduct, but I did not notice it until it was pointed out to me. The
men did not converse so freely together as under the circumstances might have
been expected. Those who are but temporarily deranged and are progressing
towards recovery, will associate together, but, as I was informed, confirmed
lunatics seldom do. They are, as a rule, suspicious of each other, and of being
inveigled into doing something that may get them into trouble with the
authorities; and should one madman have confided to him anything in the nature
of a plot or conspiracy to do a mischief to an attendant, or to escape, for
instance, he is pretty sure, at the earliest opportunity, to betray his friend's
confidence to the doctor or some other official he has a liking for - a
providential peculiarity, and one that, no doubt, tends considerably to the
general security.
But as far as appearances went, there was not one in a half-dozen of all the patients brought under my observation who did not appear as
sane as most persons one meets with in ordinary society, and as capable of
discussing commonplace topics with a show of rationality. I had been informed,
and my limited opportunity of testing it convinced me of the truth of the
statement, that in by far the greater number of cases it is only on one
particular subject that a patient betrays mental derangement, though in some
instances the character of the delusion is so extraordinary that its retention
seems utterly incompatible with ability to talk and argue sanely on other
matters. As, for [-23-] instance, there was one elderly gentleman, of mild and
benevolent aspect, who engaged me in conversation on political affairs, and
impressed me favourably with his sound and sensible views on the Bradlaugh
question. He likewise spoke concerning the attempted assassination of the Queen,
and pooh-poohed the possibility of any one lending himself to a crime so
diabolical unless he was a lunatic. I had already settled in my mind that this
was a patient who was nearly or quite cured, and entitled to his discharge, when
he suddenly broke off talking about McLean, and, in a confidential whisper,
asked me if I happened to have such a thing as a packet of beetle wafer about
me. I replied that I was sorry to say I had not.
"I am sorry too," he said, with a doleful sigh. "It
is the only thing that will cure me, and yet the doctors here are so obstinate
that they won't let me have it. I am troubled, you must know, sir, with beetles
on the brain. They are harmless insects, and I've no great disliking for them on
a kitchen floor, or in a coal cupboard, but when they do their running about
inside my skull they disturb me dreadfully. If they would let me have just one
packet of beetle wafer to poison em, I should be well in a couple of hours; I am
sure I should."
"But how would you apply it?" I asked him.
He had his answer ready, and took me by a buttonhole of my
coat as he replied in a low whisper, as though he was afraid the beetles might
hear him, "I should swallow it in warm water, and then stand on my head and
let it settle on 'em."
Another patient, a genial bald-headed old gentleman, who
introduced himself to me by courteously offering me a pinch of snuff, commenced
a conversation by asking me what I thought of the weather, and on my replying
that it was all that one could desire, he warmly shook hands with me, remarking
he was exceedingly glad that I liked it, as it was his own manufacture, and that
he was happy to say he had a great quantity of material for making fine weather
on hand, and he intended to give the public the benefit of it.
"When I say that I make it, you, of course, will not
take it in a literal sense," said he, seriously. "I am chief forecaster,
that is all, and the chief of the meteorological department. And now I've told
you that," he continued, his serene brow becoming suddenly clouded, "I am
sure you will agree with me that it is [-24-] an infernal shame that I should be detained here. Do you know
why, sir? I'll tell you, and then I shall feel exceedingly obliged to you if you
will call a great public meeting in Trafalgar Square, and inform the British
nation how shamefully they are being swindled. There is no reason, sir, why they
shouldn't have fine weather every day throughout the year, and I would freely
let them have it if I were at liberty to conduct meteorological affairs as they
should be conducted. But the scoundrels at the head of affairs dread my power.
They are afraid if the people have nothing but fine weather they will always he
going to Rosherville Gardens and neglect their work, and that, consequently, the
revenue will suffer. So they've shut me up in this place. But they can't muzzle
me altogether, sir. No, no; they're afraid to come it quite so strong as that.
They give me my way sometimes. At eight p.m. every evening I send out my
forecast, and it is always bright sunshine and a blue sky. And between you and
me," said he, with a subdued laugh, "I believe they are coming to their
senses, and wish to conciliate me. They've allowed the people to have what I
forecast for them more than a dozen times during the past month."
I think that he was about to enlighten me as to the secret of
his weather wisdom, but another pleasant-looking old gentleman at that moment
came up and jovially asked the injured meteorologist if he was of a mind to make
one of four at trap- and-ball, when bidding me a hasty good morning, and
whispering me to be sure and call that meeting in Trafalgar Square, he ran off
with his friend.
Scarcely had be left me when a gentlemanly young fellow of
six or seven and twenty accosted me laughingly, remarking, as he pointed in the
direction of the retreating meteorologist, "I suppose he has been boring
you about his weather prophecies, hasn't he? I thought so. He is an amusing old
chap, but of course you are aware that he is cracked? I thought I would take the
liberty of mentioning it, because, like many other of the poor fellows here, his
manner is so plausible that any one from the outside might be easily taken in by
him. And then quitting that subject, he began chatting in such an easy and
sensible way about the asylum and the grounds that I began to think that he was
some official (he was very well dressed) connected with the place. Presently,
however, he abruptly remarked,
[-25-] "By-the-bye, have I not met you in Downing Street?"
I had no recollection of it, I replied.
"Well, I thought so," he continued, "because I saw
you looking so hard at me that I thought you recognized me. You know who I am, I
suppose?"
I had not that pleasure, I told him.
"Well, look here," said he in a confidential whisper,
"don't let it go any further or it might lead to mischief; but the fact is,
I am a distinguished official. The Ministry know all about it, but they keep it
dark. Yes; the fact is, I began to find the overwhelming pressure of business
too much for me. And yes, sir, I should have gone irretrievably wrong here" (and
he touched his forehead) "if I hadn't pulled up in time. I am only here
temporarily - just for a rest, you know, and then I, of course, go to work again."
"May I ask who is the gentleman who is at present so
ably officiating for you?" I inquired of him.
"Nay," he replied, with knowing shake of his head, "now you are asking too much. If I
revealed what you request me to, Europe would be in a blaze in six hours," and
with a finger on his lips as a caution to me not to abuse his confidence, he
went off.
It is said that to be constantly in the society of madmen,
even in an official capacity, is found to have an injurious effect on those of
whose perfect sanity there was previously no question, and that it is deemed
necessary on that account to allow warders and asylum attendants frequent
holidays. I cannot say how this may be, or whether the few hours I passed in
lunatic companionship to some small extent disturbed my mental capacity; but I
must confess that on quitting the asylum my foremost impression was that there
are many imaginable conditions of ordinary life in which a man would find
himself more miserable than in a modern madhouse. In "Little Dorrit" one of
the characters is a medical gentleman who has passed several years in the
Marshalsea, and who holds forth on the advantage of a debtors prison compared
with impecunious liberty. "We are quiet here," says the insolvent M.D.
"We don't get badgered here. There is no knocker here to be hammered at by
creditors, and bring a man's heart in his mouth. We know the worst of it. We
have got to the bottom, and can't fall any lower, and what have we found?
Peace."
[-26-] Here, at the asylum, existence must be far more endurable
than in a debtors' prison. A few words written by a magistrate, justified by a
certificate signed by two doctors, and in an instant the crushing weight of
responsibility is lifted from the shoulders of the long afflicted, and he is
granted a new lease of life, and that with liability so limited that it is mere
feather-weight as compared with the substantial advantages guaranteed and
received. The terms of those whose guest he is are as follow: They undertake to board him liberally, to lodge him
comfortably, to provide him with an extensive and well-arranged garden, where
in fine weather he may saunter or sit in a shady arbour, and read the newspaper
or smoke a quiet pipe, or chat with a friend. Or he may join in any one of a
half-dozen outdoor sports, including cricket and racquets and bat-and-ball.
Should the weather be unsuitable he may amuse himself at various indoor
games-chess, draughts, or what not. He may work or be idle pretty much as best
suits his humour. He has at his command an attendant, whose duty it is to see
that he wants for nothing consistent with the rules of the establishment, and
there is a skilled doctor in constant readiness to attend to his slightest
ailment. And all that is stipulated for in return for all these good things is
that the patient shall place himself passively in the hands of his guardians,
and endeavour to take as kindly as possible to their treatment of him. We are
all more or less mad, somebody says; but it is not every one who is able to make
such an easy bargain for his lodgment and maintenance.
Is it difficult to sham madness, I wonder, and in the several
great county asylums are there many impostors who have successfully imposed on
the doctor, and are living a lazy and luxurious life of ease and plenty at the
expense of the unfortunate taxpayers? I asked one of the medical gentlemen of
the establishment I visited what were his ideas as regards this, and he seemed
to think that, though it might be possible for a shrewd rogue to simulate
insanity to an extent that would enable him to gain admission to an asylum, he
would be able to sustain the imposture but for a very short time under the
experienced eyes of the medical staff.
"It is frequently attempted, no doubt," he added.
"Indeed, we have had several such cases here, but they have been chiefly
from the workhouses and from the army. It is an easy way out [-27-]
of distasteful regimental service, if a man is cunning enough
to play his part; and I have little doubt that there are hundreds of able-bodied
paupers in our workhouses who, if they knew of the advantages to be obtained,
would willingly declare themselves mad as March hares, if by doing so they could
ensure coming here."
He related to me an instance of shamming mad that had
recently come under his notice. The patient was the brother of a man who had
been twice an inmate, on the first occasion for six months, and the last only
two, and of whose actual insanity considerable doubt was entertained. On this
account, when the brother made his appearance he was regarded with some
suspicion, which close watching confirmed. After a fortnight he was taken into
the doctors' room, and, after some questioning, to which he returned the
maddest possible answers, he was placed in an anteroom, where he could easily
overhear a pretended consultation between the two medical gentlemen as to the
method of treatment that should be adopted. It was agreed between them that he
should at once be put on low diet, that his head should be shaved to admit of a
powerful blister being effectually applied over the whole of his cranium, and
that if this failed to have the desired effect, he was to be subjected to a
course of galvanic shocks of as great force as it was possible for him to bear.
A short time after he was removed he sent for the doctor, to inform him in a
perfectly calm and sane manner that he was glad to say he need not put him to
any further trouble; that "all of a sudden something had busted in his head,
and that from the very moment he felt as well - indeed, better - than he ever
remembered."
But the doctor, keeping his countenance, soothingly informed
the patient that this bursting of something in his head was a mere fancy, and
that if he kept himself as calm and quiet as he could, he hoped by the method of
treatment to be employed in his case to cure him in a few months of this and all
other such delusions, and restore him to health. Desperate with terror, the
fellow then fell on his knees and confessed there was nothing at all the matter
with him, and it was for the sake of enjoying the good things he was given to
understand were to be had at the asylum that he had shammed mad. But this also
the medical gentleman affected to treat as an hallucination, [-28-]
and left him saying he would send him a composing draught.
And during the several days it was necessary to detain him before he could be
discharged, his constant terror on account of the blister and the galvanic
shocks was such that it is the doctor's opinion that he will never "try it
on" at that or any ether asylum again.