a Footman
taken from George Cruikshank's London Characters (1829)
Victorian London - Publications - Humour - Punch - 'a prize footman'
Punch, Jan.-Jun. 1844
The
footman, in the present age of false appearances, should be like one of those patent articles that serve
several purposes at once; such as a chair that pulls out and forms a bed, or shuts up and
looks like a chest of drawers, or lets down and makes an ottoman, or sinks in and
constitutes a packing-ease, or falls down at the sides and serves for a sofa, or opens with a hinge
and acts as a pair of library-steps, or tumbles
to pieces-as it often will-and comes to nothing.
In our present Guide we do not address ourselves to the pure footman, but to
the general flunky practitioner. We have not the gold. headed cane in our eye,
nor shall we tie ourselves down to the shoulder-knot; but we shall address ourselves to that admirable domestic
CRICHTON, the
man-servant who is "willing to make himself generally useful."
The footman of this class is a sort of man of all work, who must have been
accustomed to boot-cleaning, plate-polishing, waiting at table, cow- milking,
the care of a horse, mat-beating, driving one or a pair, the management of bees,
French-polishing furniture, making bread, cleaning windows, looking after
poultry, brewing, gardening, rearing, feeding, and killing pigs, pickling pork,
trimming lamps, and cutting bread-and-butter. If he has been used to all these
things a little, and to some of them a good deal - if he is willing to try his
hand at anything that does not immediately lie within the scope of these
accomplishments - if he has a good temper and a respectable calf - if he will
find
himself in white Berlin gloves, tea and sugar, and overalls, - he may stand a
chance of getting a place as footman in a genteel, and perhaps even in a serious
family.
But it is not everything to know how to get through the duties of which we
have given a catalogue; for there are numerous other accomplishments necessary,
without which all the rest would go for nothing. The things we have enumerated
must not only be done, but they must be done with so much tact and discretion,
that visitors to the house should not be aware that there is but one male
servant on the establishment. A general footman in a family should recollect
that "all the world's a stage," and that "each man in his time plays many
parts," the difference between the footman and other people being, that while
they play only one part at a time, he has to play his all at once; so that, in
fact, he is engaged constantly in a species of monopolylogue, in which he
sustains at the same time about half-a-dozen different characters. He will also
be required to tarry out the parallel of a monopolylogue, by frequently changing
his dress with great rapidity, and a little knowledge of ventriloquism would be
of use, to enable him to vary his voice, making it sound as if it came from two
or three different rooms, and thus keeping up an illusion in the minds of
visitors that there are several male domestics in the establishment. When acting
as groom, it would be as well to adopt the voce di petto, or chest
voice, as being best adapted to the stable; while in the drawing-room the voce
di tesla, or mild falsetto, should be resorted to. A powerful command
of the features and a collection of wigs, are also very desirable adjuncts to a
young man going into service as a general footman; for if he is quick at
changing his dress, be may appear one minute as a gardener, going round the
garden with his master and his guests, while the next moment he may be standing
at the door of the dining-room as an in-door servant in a suit of
pepper-and-salt, worn, of course, under his fustians and blue apron,
which are slipped off with the rapidity of the change of costume in a pantomime.
This is pleasing to the employer, for it gratifies his vanity by inducing, his
visitors to believe that he has an efficient staff of male domestics, while in
fact he is at the expense of only one.
It is difficult to give particular rules for the guidance of a general
footman, as he must regulate his work according to circumstances. After beating
the mats, cleaning the boots, and rubbing down the horse, he should slip off his
fustians, end slip on a white apron with a clean striped jacket, to appear in
the breakfast-room. If he has to drive his master to town, he should contrive
to put the horse to while breakfast is going on; and by having his livery-coat
and hat outside the door, he may manage to announce the carriage as a butler,
and be on the box as coachman, in a complete change of costume, within an
incredibly short period. On his return be should put up his horse, and commence
his duties as a gardener; but he should be able to slip on his jacket and apron,
with a pair of Berlin gloves, to bring in the tray for luncheon; when he should
ask if there are any orders for the coachman, which he will receive in his
character of footman, and execute in his capacity of out-door servant. He
will probably have to fetch his master home; so that he should wear his
pepper and-salt trousers carefully concealed, by wrapping the box-coat over his
knees; and when he comes home, he has only to put on his in-door coat to be at
once a ready-made servant for waiting at dinner. He must put up his horse before
taking tea into the drawing-room; and when the family have retired to rest, he
can wash his carriage, clean his harness, thoroughly groom his horse, and do any
other little odd jobs, in accordance with his engagement to make himself
generally useful He must be up at daylights to clean his boots, his knives, and
his plate, to beat his mats and brush his clothes, when he will have the
satisfaction of feeling that he is forward with his work, so that if he has any
spare time it will be at his own disposal.
Punch, Jul.-Dec. 1845